Random

Twenty-five is almost over for me and I must say although I had no elaborate plans for myself, the current state I am in is not what I would have pictured. My life’s failures and successes can be debatable depending on who you ask I guess. If you’re asking me, well, I will say that my life is equal parts success and failure just not in the ways most would think. Example: most would assume that working for a multi-million dollar corporation is a success and that getting fired from said corporation is failure. I on the other hand think it to be just the opposite. Why? I spent five days a week dreading going to the office to sit in a cubical listening to people whine and complain about money they spent even though it wasn’t there to spend. I wouldn’t say I was miserable but I often questioned what I was doing with my life. Aside from the obvious of course of a steady stream of income and health benefits I could not find any good reasons to waste my time and energy in such a place. Yet I stayed. Society always told me that I had to have a nine to five, a new car, a nice house, trendy clothes and so on. And I foolishly listened and lived that way, live that way. I am trying to look at my current situation as a do-over, what better time than the present to live the life I want right? So here I am nearing twenty-six at a rapid rate, unemployed, single, broke and all I can think of is a line I read in a book not too long. This line has stuck with me and I guess I’m ready to let it mean something more personally to me than just a cool thought. “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lost”…honestly what better time to realize how free you are than when you have nothing binding you? Now this freedom is something that does not necessarily mean easy. In fact I think even though being free gives your life a whole other form of wonderful joy it also gives you more to overcome and struggle with. Now that I have this freedom I still have to figure how to pay my bills or how to afford to get to all the places I want to go, how to pay for equipment I’ve dreamt of to help me with my music and poetry recordings and so on. Bottom line, I have to figure a way to balance everything so that any situation I find myself in I can view in some way, shape, form or fashion as a success. Too many times we find ourselves wondering what if or why didn’t I so I will make it a point to do the what if’s even if it means stepping outside of the box I’ve placed myself in. My freedom depends on it.